Saturday, April 3, 2010

Lie to Me

Just finished watching season 1 of a TV series called Lie To Me.
Nice plots, stories, love the 12th episode, about a serial rapist and his copycat.

The story is around Dr. Cal Lightman, someone who has a special "talent" to read other people's expressions and can tell whether that person is telling a lie or not, through what he called, "Micro-expression". Together with his colleague, Dr. Gillian Foster, a psychologist, they try to solve different cases; from the minor one like an affair to top classified FBI cases. Their staffs are Eli Loker, someone who always tell the truth, out loud (he calls it radical honesty) and Ria Torres, a natural; someone who reads expressions by nature.

From one episode to another, this series captures me. Trust me, I even try to "read" expressions every time I talk to someone. (So, don't get me wrong when I kind of study your face, No, I'm not looking at your mole, but in search for that micro expression.)

But that's not what I'm about to talk right now. You rather see the series yourself. Right now, I want to talk about lies.

People lie. I lie, you lie, we all lie.
Reasons? Plenty!
1. Some lie to protect themselves from the wrongs they've done/about to do. (You're having an affair. You tell your girlfriend that you're busy at work. Truth: you're busy opening other woman's shirt and skirt. You lie to cover your ass.)
2. Some to brag (I have great job, a big beautiful house, a fancy car, and tons of friends. Truth: you're drop dead broke, house on mortgage, and have no friends. Well, maybe a cat or a dog. )
3. Some are trying to hide something out of shame/guilt/fear/anger (You don't know what a bong is. :) Truth: You were once a drug addict, you've quit, and want to bury that past.)
4. Some think they lie in order to save someone from being hurt. (You say "I love you". Truth: You don't. Once, but not anymore. But you keep saying it.)

The list goes on. But you can see, that no. 1-3, are done to cover him/herself, as the latter, is done for someone else. My question is: who give him/her the rights to cover the truth as it involves other person's life?

In the first episode, Dr. Cal says one thing that kind of "hit" me:

It's either the truth or happiness. Never both.

True. I'm not arguing it. For instance, you're happy with your relationship, all feels like a fairytale. But the truth is, he/she's seeing someone else. all your spouse's friend know, except you. But they cover up the truth, because they don't want you to get hurt (plus your spouse told them not to.) Now, if I was in this situation, I chose the first. No way I'd be living in a bogus happiness. Which one do you prefer? The truth or happiness?

Call me naive, but I believe both can be achieved, though not perfectly. I rather know the truth and work for the happiness from that truthfulness. Not saying it would be easy. The above situation: you knew the truth now. You broke up, devastated, and move on OR you were in that bogus happiness and find out the truth 10 years later. Same thing, same result, different timing. You see, no matter how hard you try to cover the truth, it will come out eventually. The only question is "when".

Am not saying we have to be like Eli Loker with his radical honesty. I remember in one of the episode, he says "I have no secrets. I always tell the girl I date the amount of money I have in my bank account." Then his friend replies, "And you're wondering why you never have a second date?" :)
Everyone deserves and has the rights to have secrets. Sometimes, not knowing is a bliss. But when you think the truth, that particular one is important, say it. Release that burden.

Truth hurts; down and try to move on. Roll the dice of life once again. Then, maybe, you'll find the real happiness.

(pic from:

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